Dropping pearls for all you cute cucumbers

Mindy with a Y

Mindy with a Y

We all know how season 8 of Game of Thrones continues to be one of the biggest disappointments in television history. Although most of the series is iconic, I wouldn’t take notes from a character like Cersei trying to legitimize your incestual children and kill your husband so you can live happily ever after with your brother. That’s not the best blueprint for how to gain support and be a leader.


Lately, I’ve been on the House of the Dragon side of Tiktok and it’s made me want to rewatch Game of Thrones - excluding season 8. “History repeats itself, and that’s just how it goes” said J. Cole once. It seems that even fictional history plays a part in how we function now. It’s funny and entertaining to compare certain behaviors in our peers and colleagues to those in television. Michael Scott from The Office is your unhinged boss with no boundaries. Issa Dee from Insecure is one of the new hires in your department that doesn’t say good morning and sits in her car during her lunch. And you may even have an Usagi Tsukino from Sailor Moon during your shift that cries when they have an uncomfortable confrontation with a guest and eats everything in sight. How do we want to respond to the Michael Scotts, the Issa Raes, and the Usagi Tsukinos? And how do we actually end up responding? Are we the Michael Scott or, God forbid, Cersai Lannister in the workplace?

I’d love to be a dragon rider and be high born drinking the finest wine and eating tastiest cake. I also enjoy the democracy I live under - regardless of how tumultuous the political state of America is right now. Imagine how much worse it would be if the republican candidate had a damn dragon?

I think we can all agree that if in the year 2024, we were functioning under the dynasty of the Lannisters and Baratheons, we’d be stressed out. But it seems as though the values of those well-known families come into play in toxic work spaces.

“When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground”
— Cersei lannister - game of thrones s1 ep7

True, but this isn’t Westeros. This is an office building and I’m the a relatively new hire and I’m not fighting to become the CEO. I just want my paycheck and to be left alone while I finish this project and listen to my Cleo Sol playlist on Spotify. But for some reason, the director of the whatever department feels as though their position is threatened due to a new hire’s appearance. Now chaos ensues.

The gossip in an office setting rivals that of a high school circa 2010. That’s my frame of reference because I’m 12 years removed from high school at this point. The day my best friend and her boyfriend broke up on a Friday morning didn’t spread to the entire sophomore class until the second lunch period. However, in the office, the 2nd trip I took to the bathroom in the morning (because I’d just begun my cycle) spread to the entire department in the next building over by 10:04am. I saw you cross the street a few times. Going to visit someone? Yeah, the toilet. I didn’t realize monitoring my bathroom habits were part of your job description, Mindy.

There are two types of people in the office: The ones who do their jobs and the ones who act like they do their jobs.

While some of my lifelong friends have been made at work, I can say with certainty that having those friends hasn’t stopped me from leaving a job. Sorrows and prayers, friends. I love you endlessly, but not enough to stay at a job that is actively crushing my soul.

While having those friendships has made work bearable, it isn’t a substitute for the fact that these jobs, at some point in time, no longer served me. I think this is where a lot of us may have the game fucked up: My job is supposed to serve me. I take a job to give myself purpose -and obviously money. Never again will I allow my employer to play me and suck me dry to end up ultimately letting me go at their leisure. We’re sorry, but your position is no longer necessary. It was necessary when worked 17 hours in overtime to make up for the 5 people on paid leave this month.

So what do you do when your direct boss actually likes your work ethic and your new ideas? Make the rest of the office mad and highlight their disorganization, allegedly. While I’ve always done my absolute best at every position I’ve ever held, it was always because I simply followed the rules. I come to work on time, I finish the job I’ve been given, and I (usually) do it with a smile. Employers love that shit. The difference now is I have actually have an opportunity to move up where I couldn’t before.

In restaurants, when you’re a good server that pre-bus’s their tables, gets good reviews, helps run food, and doesn’t complain, you know your days are numbered. They’ll never move you up to a manager because you’re way too valuable as a server. And because you’re so good at your job, management knows you’ll eventually you’ll leave to get a higher paying position that doesn’t require a party of 10 screaming over each other for shirley temples.

Being in the position to actually move up and gain more responsibility threatens those who’ve coasted thus far. Doing a good job is one thing. Getting recognized for doing that get’s the people’s blood boiling. I’ve never felt so invalidated in a meeting with people I’m supposed to consider my leadership team. “Oh, that’s going to be overwhelming for her.” “That’s a lot of work.” “I don’t know if she will be able to handle it.”

Being a professional is hard sometimes, because who tf are you talking to?
— @hasbypop1 via twitter

Here’s a few things I’ve been learning in under a year of working in a corporate office:

  • Don’t be a “Good Morning!” ass bitch

    • I’m a “Good Morning!” ass bitch. I try to hard to emulate light and goodness. Man, do people hate positivity. So I’ve stopped saying good morning to half of my department. Nothing like ignoring half of the people you see on a daily basis to crush your soul ever so slightly.

  • Never share your lore

    • As an Aquarius (I would assume) I can be cold. I have a few triggers. When I feel like the vibes are off, I’m out. You’ll never heard from me again.

    • I accidentally shared some Asha lore with a colleague. I heard it from a random colleague the next day. Welp, that’s it. From now on, y’all will only know me as the one that listens to ethereal frequencies in my office with an oil diffuser that only has grapefruit essential oil.

    • Unless you are certain that this is more than a work place friend, keep that lore to yourself.

  • Give an inch, they assume a mile

    • The only person I have to answer to likes my work. Sue me. That being said, I’m either sleeping with my boss or I’m a snitch and that’s how I’ve gained my liking.

    • Too bad I just had parents that raised me not be an asshole and taught me the value of hard work.

What’s the lesson I’m learning in the midst of this Game of Throne-esque scenario I’m living everyday?

I’m learning to focus on myself and mind my business more than I’ve done in the past. A work-life balance is an absolute necessity.

How am I handling the people that are actively saying that I won’t do a good job?

I continue to do a good job. And once 4:00pm hits, this job no longer exists until 8:30am the next day. People can’t hurt your feelings outside of work when they don’t know you outside of work. Quite frankly, they can’t hurt your feelings at work either. How are you hating on me and my work ethic because I get things done? Kind of like how you hating from outside the club when you can’t even get in?

So for the Issa Dee that’s eating lunch in your car: Continue to protect your peace.

For the Michael Scott that’s said yet another inappropriate thing: Learn boundaries.

For the Usagi Tsukino crying in the walk in again: Cry with her. We all tired out here.

And for the Mindy that spells their name with a Y: Maybe mind your business and stop minding mine. Because my notes are up to date and my boss isn’t asking why things aren’t done.

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