Spoilers Ahead
Jujutsu Kaisen Manga Spoiler Ahead
Delusion hopes that Gege will bring Gojo back to life in the last three chapters of the series. Introspection attempts to understand why Gojo's death hurts my feelings so much.
On the coattails of the soft girl era emerged the phenomenon of embracing our most "delulu" selves.
Definition of Delusion
"A false belief or judgment about external reality, held despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary, occurring especially in mental conditions." Synonyms of "delusion" - deception, fantasy, hallucination, illusion, and pipe dream.
The definition is quite obviously negative, yet we lean into the fantasy at the expense of our well-being to perpetuate the falsehoods that will temporarily serve us the quickest. Texting this man back, though he's shown you repeatedly that he has no intention of exclusively being with you: Delusion. Refusal to see how your actions may affect others and turning on the whistleblower for calling you out: Delusion. Believing that this 3rd margarita won't negatively affect you because you had a single sip of water and a slice of bread: An absolute pipe dream.
The power of social media has a strong effect on how we receive and accept information now. TikTok gives us a surplus of information in mere minutes, letting off endorphins in our brains over and over again. Temporary satisfaction is enough as long as it keeps coming. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel or reaching a multistep goal isn't as appealing as getting fulfilled instantly.
So, delusion continues to win over introspection. Why stave off a quick high for the prospect of a longer, more gratifying result down the road?
I've become the generation that discusses the poor work ethic of the generations born after me. Working in two vastly different industries - although in both, I perform a service - and working with a wide range of generations gives me insight into the inner workings of our brains. I mentioned to a friend the other day that the children in school during the pandemic have had their brain chemistry altered and almost seem to have missed a phase in their development. However, that sentiment may be across the board. In the past, I've welcomed being immersed in crowds and making friends with my fellow drunkards in the bathroom. Now (and this might be at my big old age), I had to cry my way into getting an office of my own just to count down the hours until I was back in the solitude of my bedroom where my popcorn and Fortnite waited for me.
Part of the delusion I suffer from is assuming everyone I interact with should have their lives together (not to say I do). The teenagers employed as hosts and servers should know how to wipe down a table and reset it to company standards. The women in the neighboring offices in my building should know that not every thought needs to be said aloud, as if they've never had any home training. Part of my introspection is understanding those around me have not had the same upbringing or experiences throughout their life to make them move the same way I do.
Definition of Introspection
"the examination or observation of one's mental and emotional processes." Synonyms of "introspection" - brooding, self-analysis, soul/heart-searching, and introversion.
My fiancé leaves the cabinet doors open when he grabs me a plate for dinner. It drives me up the wall. One night, he made dinner when I worked a double shift. I came home to all of the dishes washed and put away, and a plate was waiting for me in the microwave. The cabinet above the microwave was left open because he knows I like to drink water from my glass mason jars and bamboo straws. Irritable from my long work day, I snapped at him for leaving the cabinet open. When we spoke about it later, it was clear that I was in the wrong. Yes, I'd ask him at least once a week to ensure the cabinets were closed. It wasn't like it was an everyday thing. But, the moment my emotions allowed me to latch on to a mildly frustrating moment, the clean kitchen and freshly cooked dinner meant nothing.
You know when your fake introspective gaslighting "friend" tells you, "You're projecting?" because you called them out. Yelling about an open cabinet when you were given the workload of a team of 5 is actually projecting. Introspection is taking the time to analyze why your body is reacting in such a way and learning how to change moving forward. Many of us stop at understanding our mistakes but need to attempt to correct them. There is a time for reflection and a time for doubling down.
There's a line, not so fine, that you can easily cross when it comes to introspection. You go about your life only by understanding one perspective of a situation, and one day, someone shares an entirely opposite side of the story - shaking your world and making you spiral into every possibility of you being the villain in all of your stories. That's when you get to a dangerous place in your mind. While we can't change the past, we can change our behavior now. We can change our perspective now. To quote a character with daddy issues that wiped out 80% of the world's population, you have to keep moving forward.
Too much of anything is unhealthy. A touch of delusion to sometimes keep the depression away. A serving of introspection to cope with the anxiety of "what ifs." Accept the reality of our situations and proceed with learned caution. Know that we are not all-knowing, perfect beings, and we're bound to indulge and have lapses in judgment occasionally. Here’s the spoiler: the 4th shot will give you a headache in the morning, stop checking your notifications because that man is not going to text you back, and Gojo will not be coming back.
