Be The Woo
Excuse me while I listen to my vibey music and tap my forehead. I’m just tryna get through this moment.
I’ve said it multiple times and will continue to talk about it: The Friend Zone is my favorite podcast. A show about all things mental health, mental wellness, and mental hygiene (because who in the hell wants a musty brain) hosted by creators Dustin, Assante, and Francheska aka Hey Fran Hey. An enormous inspirations and catalyst for starting my own mental wellness podcast. They’re the embodiment of putting your friends on. If you’ve listened long enough, you’ll hear the trio mention their friends Crissle, Kid Fury, Jade, XD, and Keia. All of which have podcasts with various topics. In 2015, I remember listening to my first episode of The Read with Crissle and Kid Fury. I remember walking to work in New York City at the time and wishing I had the wit and quickness to host my own podcast.
The Read put Getting Grown and Jade and XD on game which put The Friend Zone on game. Not in that order necessarily, but that’s the order in which I began listening. And the rest, I guess they would say, is history.
All the shows began expanding their brand. Particularly in the wake of a global pandemic, touring and live shows were no longer an option for the time being. Patreon became embedded in The Friend Zone’s content. From that spawned mini series like The Binge and The Lituation. They’ve since put a hold on a few series, one being The Woo hosted by Hey Fran Hey. The Woo focused almost exclusively on discussions about mental health. Since that show, the phrase “On my woo woo shit” became something that my therapist and I would say when we talked about implementing a practice that wasn’t exactly aligned with traditional practices (journaling, mindfulness cards, etc).
What is woo woo shit?
Urban Dictionary: woo-woo : (see also woowoo) adj. descriptive of an event or person espousing New Age theories such as energy work, crystal magic, Reiki, bizarrely restrictive diets, or supernatural/paranormal/psychic occurrences; often has studied in an authentic religious tradition such as Hinduism or Zen Buddhism, but now practices an Eastern-influenced yet severely watered-down and Westernized pseudo-mysticism; can also be a synonym for sketchy, probably because Santa Fe, NM and Sedona, AZ, self-proclaimed woo-woo capitals of the world, also have a large and skeptical rock climbing population
Merriam Webster: woo-woo wu-wu adjective: dubiously or outlandishly mystical, supernatural, or unscientific
Good Food: Woo woo: Mix vodka, peach schnapps, cranberry juice and fresh lime to make this perfect party cocktail, garnished with a lime wedge (and maybe a tiny umbrella too)
The first time woo woo shit was implemented into my therapy sessions was when I expressed how much I hated taking anti depressants. “The goal is to get off them.” I’d say. “I don’t like the idea of this pill dictating how my brain functions for the rest of my life. I want to have that control.” My little 10 milligrams of lexapro was great for the time being, but it was time for a change. That’s when we began the EFT (Emotional Freedom Tapping) Technique. It felt silly. Very silly. But it was a grounding exercise. It brought an abstract intangible feeling and gave it shape, and color, and texture, and slowly squished it into nothing. That was one way to utilize the technique. My therapist called it “chasing the pain.” I often tried to ignore pain, or at least squish it down into a part of my brain where it would take a traumatizing event to bring it back to the surface. This, clearly, isn’t healthy. So I started to feel the pain, understand it, and allow myself to let it go. Bless it and release it (Shout out to Ari).
The crystals, yoga, and psychics never made me feel necessarily safe. So, it was never included in my woo woo shit. While I consider myself an earthy black girl who loves the planet and wants to heal her as she heals me back, I’ve never been one to frolic through a forest barefoot and pet a wild fox while wearing fairy wings.
My woo woo is a little more suburban. I’ll take my shoes off at a park near a lake with a good book. I’ll listen to Cleo Sol and Alex Isley throughout my work day while sending my emails and making my obligatory phone calls. I’ll get lost in a good book or a good anime and want to share all the philosophical questions that came to mind after finishing a chapter or episode. But not everyone is on the same wavelength when it comes to discussing the trauma Itadori has acclimated after the completion of the Shibuya Arc. Everyone isn’t necessarily as excited to talk about the next life Nora Seed explores in The Midnight Library. And there is a strong possibility that no one but me and myself alone understands the silent protest to keep your head down at work and not speak to a single soul to protect yourself.
My woo woo shit protects me but may be off-putting to others.
As a recovering people pleaser, I don’t like the idea of the seemingly odd and nontraditional practices that bring me peace may upset someone. However, worrying about how someone else may react to my healing has never allowed healing for any of the parties involved. I shouldn’t have to heal in a traditional sense to make everyone else comfortable. That’s not practical. It’s also unfair.
Note to myself and probably most of us: If you’re not hurting people who are deciding to be hurt by your life, that’s not your problem.
A year ago, I went to a panel after the release of Dr. Joy Harden’s book Sisterhood Heals. Included in the panel was Dr. Joy herself, Crissle, Jade, Keia, and Fran. Aside from running into Lin Manuel Miranda inside the Richard Rogers theater at the height of Hamilton, this is the most starstruck I’ve ever been. The discussions ranged from maintaining friendships, to black sisterhood, to mental wellness practices. These women were friends, truly. They wanted to help people, truly. The time came for audience questions. Even with the crippling anxiety associated with speaking publicly to strangers, I rose from my seat and waited in a line of 5-6 other women to ask my question. My chance to speak directly to the people who incited such a fire in me to create and help and share. “First off,” I shakily began. “I just want to express how it’s a dream come true to be in front of all of you.” They smiled. That could’ve been the end of it. I couldn’t walked away happily. “This question is for Fran.” I mentioned my therapist and I using the term “woo woo shit”. I remember Crissle putting the microphone down. An inside joke I understood because Crissle was never off the woo woo shit. “What are some of the woo woo things you things you do to keep yourself grounded when you feel all over the place?”
“Get back to the basics.” She said. “Wear the flowy clothes. Take walks. Drink water and juices. Do the stuff you like to do that makes you feel good.” That’s only a portion of what I remember because I was stricken with joy. So much so, I couldn’t focus.
That night I went home and my best friend proposed to me and I said yes. And the months following were difficult. And while there were moments I was happy, there were moments I was lost and anxious. I always held with me “get back to the basics.”
When I’m feeling anxious, I do my EFT Tapping and chase the pain. When I’m feeling lost, I put my feet in the grass and read a book at the park. When I’m feeling frustrated at work, I put on my Issa Vibe playlist and rock back and forth. My woo woo shit may not be your woo woo shit. The things that being me peace and joy may not bring you peace and joy. The things that inspire me may not inspire you. Do what you gotta do to be alright with yourself. Block out the noise of what you should be doing and do you, boo. Be your own woo.
Notes App entry 5/27/2023
