Words Mean Things
The carefully crafted collection of words “bleach blonde bad built butch body” meant enough to that US senator to be pictured jogging on the treadmill soon after that interaction.
While I can only attest to the interpretation of words in the English language, I can say with certainty that words do, in fact, mean things. An obvious statement, but an often forgotten fact. Scrolling through the search results of “words mean things” on Google to ensure a lack of plagiarism (because surely this cannot be an original thought), it turns out that I’m copying everyone. That being said, it’s a controversial topic. I say a word hurt my feelings. Your response is, “Well, it shouldn’t. You’re being dramatic.” Call us the most sensitive generation all you want. I will forever stand by this: Talk to me niiiiiice.
cap /ˈkap/ :
1. a kind of soft, flat hat, typically with a visor
2. a protective lid or cover for an object such as a bottle, the point of a pen, or a camera lens
3. the word lying but built different
I know I officially entered ✨auntie✨ age when my response to new slang was “What’d you call me?". The same words we’ve heard our entire lives being remixed to fit the jargon of newer generations. It doesn’t mean words completely stop going by their old definitions. They’re additives to an already established groundwork. The meanings of these words expand, deriving from an original interpretation. How did cap come to mean lying then? Where does that fit in with previous definitions? As a 30-year-old auntie with no nieces or nephews, it’s initially very silly. To me, I’ve always viewed it as putting an end to a lie. A cease to an untrue statement. You’ve said enough, it’s time to put a cap on it.
That’s the light work. Now, let’s get into the nitty gritty of why words must mean things.
Sometimes, words mean nothing because the words don’t reach. I say “up” and you hear dead air. At work, I try standing up to my boss to advocate for myself and they only hear what they want to hear which is, “Yes, no problem.” or “I’ll get right on that.”
Words mean things when sharing our experiences. Words cut deep when others invalidate those experiences. As a black woman, I’ve been told “You speak so well!” by all kinds of people. When explaining the negative affects of the uneducated preconceived notion that ordinarily black people don’t speak “well”, I’ve been dismissed. In the sense that it’s not a black thing. Or it’s not equivocal to racial bias. It is. Simply put, it’s an unconscious bias. The shock of collection of words being put together in a seemingly coherent manner coming from my mouth shouldn’t be the case. Words mean things whether I’m black, white, from China or Kenya.
“Wow, you speak so well!”
“It’s free to shut the fuck up.” said a former coworker of mine. When it feels like words need to be said, we need to ask ourselves why. Words fail when they fall of deaf ears. Isn’t there a quote out there about silence being golden. Why try to speak when no one is listening? Why say anything when there may be no benefit? When our thoughts are sometimes difficult to wrangle, is it necessary to speak them aloud? Especially at the detriment of those we may care about? Sure, we want to land a zinger to someone who we can’t stand at work. Of course we want to say all things we’ve ever felt to the worst bar guest. Yes, I’d love to tell my parents about every little thing they’ve done to upset my childhood self. Is it always necessary? Does it even benefit me if there’s no resolution?
The answers to all of these are yes and no. It’s not a set answer because it’s doesn’t pertain to one situation. Life doesn’t resolve itself like the end of a 90s sitcom. There isn’t a always a profound speech about the facts of life that makes everyone want to become better versions of themselves. We aren’t always jumping at the chance to listen to one another and learn from our past and try to be better. Change is hard. Listening to the things you may have done wrong is difficult. Hearing others out is not what we want to do all of the time.
I’ll admit: I talk to myself.
“Get up, Asha.” “Get you’re shit together, girl.” “What are you doing? Do better.”
What does the self talk do? I know what I said before: If your words can’t be heard, what’s the point? You hear your words. Each and everyday, you listen to what comes from your mouth and contemplate those choices. When you hear about self care, how often do we feel silly about the idea of hyping ourselves up? If the self talk in our minds in negative, speaking positivity and productivity aloud can help counteract that. As someone diagnosed with severe depressive disorder and will periodically fall into depressive episodes, speaking aloud the things I need to get done is more helpful than you’d imagine. When you stay stuck in narrative that your mind has whispered to you, speak louder.
Brain: That was a stupid thing to do. You should be embarrassed.
Mouth: Wow, that made me feel a little embarrassed, but I can move on from that.
Brain: You’re a failure.
Mouth: I don’t feel super successful at this point in my life, but at least I’m trying to change my situation.
Brain: You are loved by no one.
Mouth: I love myself.
Spinning the narrative in your mind doesn’t mean lying to trick your brain. It means speaking truths aloud into existence. I imagine this is the thinking behind manifestation. I tell my loved ones never to say negative things about themselves out loud. Do not speak that into existence. Our words have power.
Words mean things. Because if I say, “You don’t look like you’d be a good mom.”, the purpose of those words is to convey disrespect and invoke a negative reaction. Words mean things in the sense that if I tell someone “I’m not racist, I have a black friend.”, it translates to having no perspective of the world around you and the insensitivity of that statement. Words mean things when I say, “That dress looks beautiful on you.” because the intention is to brighten ones day. Words mean things so that we can interpret the language based on our environment. We dissect words and and sentences and piece their meaning back together to make sense of the our perceptions. Words mean things, because they have to. If words meant nothing, then what’s the point of speaking?
